To Each Her Own

To each her own,

No less no more

You decide,

With all your life

Family or career

Pillar or support

Flame or the wick

Name or the surname

don't forget

It is never the same

Years later

You would regret

Of what you choose

And what you set loose

Fact remains the very same

Chasing both

Was never the game

Womanhood

Is like the test of time

it forces to pick out

Between heart and mind

You decide

With all your life

No less no more
no penalty no score

Lets leave it like...

To each her own. 

PS: dedicated to all Indian women....

The F Obsession.

The F thing here does not stand for the four letter word instead it stands for something pretentious but of high repute zing.

Louis Vuitton, Jimmy Choo, Armani, Audi, imported stuff (does not matter even a soap), foreign things, relatives from Dubai,,US Job, euro trip, honeymoon at Bora Bora, an adventure trip to New Zealand and many more. I feel hysterical if this is what defines us. Well either we are very insecure or badly intimidated by our surroundings / situations that we supplement our persona with the above cited histrionic feats.  

I don’t know much about you but for me it is a creepy reality. Most occasions I cover my beautiful heart and humble character with these exhibits and lies. In doing so I get the feeling that I would create an impression which would sway the person next to me towards liking me. The surprising part is that it does make the person next to me like me.  Even when sometimes these fancy things are true, it is never real for me. I wish I could show the real me more often. 

Being related to something foreign raises eye brows equivalent to if you are an IITian or an IAS officer.  (The latter two is worthy of comparison because it is a selection of 1 over 1000 and lacs.) No matter if it’s your third cousin studying in some American university or an aunt who is your mother’s cousin’s sister in law residing in Dubai, there is huge pride in recognizing them as relatives. Similarly it is of immense pride to announce, about things we own like the dress worn by me is not available in India, I got it from Paris or Milan. The value also increases when we reply to people who slighted our attire or footwear as poor choice. But a poor choice is a poor choice whether local or imported with duties. At least defend it in a better way, how come being foreign makes it more agreeable. Well I guess there is no point in digging further. Another notable obsession is inflections. Foreign accent always work over desi one. Finding sense in that is again useless. If you don’t believe me, you have never given job interviews or been part of group discussion or even debated in school.

Huh! After the accent proof talking let us drop by to eat. Recently somebody mentioned that,” I eat healthy and so I prefer Italian, or Mexican". I could not hide my laughter and then thought to throw some light on the delusion. Howeve on second thought I did not embarrass the bloating being. Lesson learnt was that sometimes we should do more homework before we brag. You never know, people may know some stuff.

There is however something about it, no matter if it is designer labels underwear or a lip color by Chanel. The visible waist band of Calvin Klein under a low waist denim definitely rocks over a Rupa frontline. And of course CK is a foreign label. Maybe somewhere we have accepted that anything foreign is about being superior and therefore we are constantly racing among ourselves towards the same. If that is the case then maybe we have become a free country but still a slave of their lopsided thought process which they incorporated to rule over us. It is time that we reflect back on our lack of judgement and show maturity. 

I think this F obsession is something to ponder over for all of us and grow up a little. 

WOMANHOOD

She must know how to cook. Cooking in real has to be in her genes. She should know or must learn how to take care of a grown up man like a little kid. The sense of domestic cleanliness should define her persona. As for being sloppy, that should be far away from her eco system. She must cover herself head to toe, even though menfolk can roam around her in half naked. Our society is modern; so she is allowed to work and support her husband and family.  Important thing is she must earn less than her demigod husband. His ego needs to be respected.  He is head of the family. He is the “pati –parmeshwar”. He decides what is best for her and his family. . She must full fill each and every little thing of his folks also, no matter what age group they belong to. She must not speak in family matters, discussions or even matters related to her health and well beings. He and his elders are there to do that honour. In fact she should have no say on things like plan her own family.  Welcome to womanhood lady.

I feel sad and very scared but more than that ashamed to define womanhood in such a way. It feels like a slave than a free individual. Is there any life left for her is my sole disquiet. Social obligation is something that we take by choice through our self-righteousness and not something as a decided destiny. Why is she not a free person? Just because she carries a baby for 9 months in her womb and then feeds the baby for another 4-5 months does not make her a submissive and weaker sex. Her whole life’s mission cannot be defined by this. She is way more than that. It’s a total pity if she accepts the above without a resent. I wonder who is to blame for this backwardness. The past or the present. It is a total deadlock. The culture is openly so lopsided. All superiority, supremacy to one gender and all suppression and apathy on the other,   

She must get rid of all this. She has to take a stand. She needs to redefine womanhood. She must not wait for her daughter to feel the need. She must stand on her own feet. And define life the way she wants it too. The earth, the sun, the sky and the air belongs to her in all ways. She is a free person. If she does not enjoy cooking, or like any unskilled domestic job, she does not have to justify that. She is smart and strong. She must make her own choice and respect her existence. She is fully capable to rock the world in umpteen ways. She must do so. She must enjoy the feeling of being craved, loved, respected and tested. She must enjoy her age, her body and her soul. She must explore her sexuality and gratify her soul. Motherhood is her crown jewel and not a ring in her finger. She is way more than a daughter, wife or a mother. She is more than these roles. She is more than a thousand things that one can measure or treasure.

She can lead, she can rule, she can care as well as cure. She is as special as you are. Womanhood is the beginning of her life and not the end to her time. As a girl she dreamt of flying, ruling and what not. Womanhood embarks her to pursue the same. Ladies, your life is not over but just started. He does not have to dictate. You can make your choice. He is not your god but a friend for life. Worry not for him, he will survive with a joyful and content life with you by his side and not above you.